October 2006 Archives

I want to apologize if the last post was negative or seemed to be a cry for pity. I really didn't intend that. Partly it was just the visual interest of a destroyed car-- I sometimes try to get pics of accidents when I drive by, this one I just happened to be in a position to get closer up pics ;) Fortunately there was no blood on the asphalt or stretchers to get pictures of.

Partly the post was part of a reaction. I've gone through a range of thoughts and emotions in the last few days. For about the first 24 hours after the accident I felt anxious and unsettled-- the same feeling I've felt other times in my life when change had occurred, like a transfer on the mission or when I moved into a new apartment. No appetite, anxious, etc. It goes away. After about 24 hours I felt fine.

The material aspect of the incident is the least of my worries. I would have thought I'd be more attached to the car, but it's a material thing and could never take it with me to the next life anyways. It has no intrinsic value. In fact, the negative implications of this accident are so minimal that the opportunity to learn and grow far outweigh it. Worst that can happen is to have to pay a citation (even an unjust citation) and have my insurance go up a bit for a few years. It's money, no big deal. I guess I just think a lot differently about money now and trust God more than I did in the past. We're promised that if we're faithful that we'll prosper-- all I have to worry about is my end of the deal.

Many people would get into a situation and ask "why me?"

The real question is, "why NOT me?" What on earth makes me so special that I shouldn't ever have to deal with things like this? This life is about education and even an accident like this is an opportunity to learn and grow. I learned things about auto insurance, I learned things about dealing with sudden change, my trust in and reliance upon God was tested. It's all about perspective, seeing opportunities rather than focusing on loss or fear of loss. (As Yoda says, fear of loss is a path to the dark side ;-) )

There's something to be said for the saying "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade". Corny as it sounds, there are powerful underlying principles in that saying. One is the principle of agency-- being a hero rather than a victim. The victim asks "why me" and dwells on things in the past that he/she cannot change. The hero asks "what can I do in this moment" and looks forward to the future with a positive outlook.

Going along with that, there are potential opportunities in any situation. For example, I'm now riding the bus to school instead of driving. Negative side is that more time is spent commuting now than previously. I have a little less freedom that way. But the question is, how can I use that time on the bus and waiting for the bus more productively? I actually find that I'm better able to listen to, focus on, and ponder talks and what not while riding as a passenger than I could as the driver. I really do look forward to that time on the bus, it's a time that I can be learning and expanding my perspective. Not to mention I should be spending a ton less on gas this way ;)

I always come back to a saying from Hamlet: "There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." I would apply this to the events that happen in our life. It's the meanings we attach to those events, the stories we create in our mind about those events, that determine whether they are negative and destructive to ourselves or whether they are positive and serve a useful purpose in our lives.

Even recognize that some hardships help us appreciate other times when we don't have hardship. Some form of bondage can help us appreciate liberty to a greater degree. (I do wonder how much bondage the average American will have to experience before he/she begins to really appreciate the freedoms we so often take for granted).

This weeks events definitely have proved a deeper learning experience than I can express in this blog post, but I thought I'd at least share some of the insight that I've gleaned and try to counteract any energy leak that might have sprung from my last post ;)

So the question is, "why not me?" Meaning, what would make me so special that I shouldn't have to deal with crap like this? It's a pretty draining experience and the real test of a positive attitude when stuff like this happens. Let's see:

I'm grateful I wasn't injured or killed
I'm grateful no one else was injured
I'm grateful that Mar's letting me use her car today so I'm not stranded
I'm grateful for adversity in general

Oi. Not fun though. I'll refrain from retelling the story as I've recounted it so many times already and I'm sure I'm not done recounting as I'm waiting for claims adjustors to call me. Needless to say, stuff happens and I got destroyed on the freeway last night by a couple of trucks.

Funny. Yesterday morning I was thinking how much I liked my car, and I wondered to myself if I'd keep it a long time or if I'd sell it in a couple years. I was thinking how I liked that it was made in Japan and would probably run well for years and years like other Nissan's my dad has bought in the past.

That question might have just been answered. We'll see if it's totalled or not.

So, I discovered Oprah's secret identity today:

It's that time of year again... Read on only if Lost occupies your thoughts at all ;)

Any ideas on what this image is of? Hehe... hint, it has to do with something I love.

I don't write nearly enough. Regardless of whether anyone reads what I write, I don't write enough. Writing is a great way to organize one's thoughts and hammer them out. It's a great way to record those thoughts so that you can remember them and build on them.

Here's an idea that I just realized more powerfully than I have ever before...